People who are introverts are often misunderstood, there are things that we like to do, and things that we don’t like to do. In social gatherings, we prefer one more than the other. There are lots of things about socializing that most people don’t get so in this article, I am going to explain all of them. I will answer how do introverts socialize?
So how do introverts socialize? Here they are:
- Introverts prefer Deep Meaningful Talks
- Introverts prefer a Few Good Friends
- Introverts prefer to go out with a Few Close Friends
- Introverts Think a Lot Before Speaking
- Introverts don’t like Event Type Questions
- Introverts need their Recharge Time
- Introverts Like to Talk about Their Interests
- People with High Energy Levels Tires Us Out
- We Love to Have as Many Online Friends as We Can
- Introverts can be Good at Socializing
- Introverts Prefer Hanging Out on Quiet Places
- Introverts Look for the Objectives in any Social Gathering
- Introverts Prefer Quality Time over Frequent Meetings
In general, those are how introverts are different. Remember that there are various degrees of being an introvert. Some might be very introverted so everything in here will apply, some are somewhat of an ambivert. While some are born introverts but learned to deal with their environment.
However, all of these will still apply to all of us because however introverted a person might be, we share the same characteristics.
1. Introverts prefer Deep Meaningful Talks rather than Small Talks
Introverts don’t like too much small talk. We are objective in socializing.
This means that we want you to get straight to the point. Why are you talking to us? What do you want?
This means that we actually don’t like small talks that wastes time.
While it will definitely good for others, we don’t see any advantage in going deep into small talks.
But deep meaningful conversations are another story.
We want you to share your deep knowledge and your interests so much. We can easily feel if you are genuine in what you are talking about and we like those type of conversations.
When we talk to people, we look for a deep kind of conversations. If you plan to befriend us, do this and we will thank you for satisfying what we are looking for.
But, do not go for deep talks on your first meeting, we find that creepy. On these instances, small talk wins.
2. Introverts prefer a Few Good Friends rather than a Large Circle
For an introvert, they treasure the few good friends they have. This can both be good and bad.
Good in the sense that having a few good friends lead to deep talks which we like to have. Further, having few good friends is so good that it prevent something called a paradox of choice.
The paradox of choice is an instance where you have a lot of choices to choose from, this makes it hard to make an informed or logical choice.
Well introverts have few friends they trust so it will be easy for them. The problem is when they lose a friend.
Introverts don’t like losing their friends. One is they only have a few trusted friends, but another is that they usually invest a lot into their friends which makes it so hard to let go.
The outcome of this is some people call the sunk cost fallacy which is they tend to stick to something they know is wrong simply because they invested a lot into it.
This means that introverts are always the victim of an abusive or harsh relationship either from a friend or a partner.
3. Introverts prefer to go out with a Few Close Friends rather than Big Gatherings
Parties with lots of light, sound and people tire us out. No doubt about that.
That is why if you ask us if we want to party, the answer will always be no.
In fact, we will begin to think of something else to do.
By the way, we prefer sipping a cup of tea or coffee while reading a book than parties with lots of sounds. It tires us out just to be in there.
A quiet time in a coffee shop with few trusted friends is all that we want. We do not want to meet tons of people who will forget us the following week.
Deep talk are more important than small talks and we live by that.
4. Introverts Think a lot before Speaking, some even Pause between Talks to Gather their Thoughts
Do you ever wonder why introverts don’t like talking too much? Granted that some become very noisy with their close friends, but talking with other people is a different story.
We tend to think a lot about what is the best response to this. “If I say this, would it hurt the one I am talking with?”
We tend to gather our thoughts so that we can be sure that no one is hurt in the conversation. We also make sure that our response will be flawless.
That is why sometimes, we pause in the middle of a conversation. It is not that we remembered something, it is that we are thinking about how to respond.
That is why we are good at socializing unlike what others think. Because we think a lot before speaking.
5. Introverts don’t like Event Type Questions
Introverts don’t like event type questions.
To explain, here are some event type questions:
- “Are you coming tomorrow?”
- “Do you want to hang out?”
- “What time will you attend tomorrow?”
We do not like these type of questions because we tend to think a lot what to answer.
Also, we do not like crowded places. We like someplace peaceful especially if we didn’t had out recharge yet which I will talk about later.
But one of the things we really hate is a question but a statement in disguise. Here is an example: “Make sure to come to the party tomorrow, we have lots of goodies in here.”
You did not even gave us a choice whether we want to come or not. Remember that we don’t like that.
6. Introverts can go to Big Gatherings, Talk to lots of People but We need our Recharge Time
We accept that even if we prefer quiet places, we have to go to big gatherings. The truth is we can go to these types of gatherings and be completely fine.
This is one of the most misunderstood things about introverts. Recharge time.
We need to have our recharge also known as downtime. This is because recharge, also known as downtime is way better than what other people call fun.
Recharge is when we have some time to ourselves. Most people don’t get what this means but it basically means that we need some time alone.
It is okay to meet lots of people, go to social gatherings and party. But please let us have our well-deserved rest, I promise you that we are already thinking of that the moment we came to your party.
7. Introverts like to Talk about Their Interests
Here is a tip for you.
If you want to get close to an introvert, find out their interest.
This means that if the person’s interest is guitars, talk about guitars. If it is about model cars, then talk about model cars.
Introverts love talking about their hobbies and interest, and you will see them light out once they share the things they are interested in.
This is because to them, you are starting a form of deep talk which is what they are always looking for. Even if you don’t know something about the topic, just keep asking and be interested in what they are saying.
They will thank you for it.
But do not fake it, we also know if you are just faking your interest in something.
8. Talking to People who have an Extremely High Energy Levels Tire Us Out
People with high energy levels drain us out making us want another recharge time.
People with high energy levels usually use the things that we don’t like such as being so noisy in public, asking too much questions, and asking event type questions.
We also feel like they are just very active because they are looking for attention. We get tired with socializing with them.
Remember that we prefer quiet and down time rather than parties. We prefer deep conversation rather than small talks. High energy people are the opposite of what we ask for.
But remember, it is fine by us. You have your own character. Just take note that if we asked for a down time, please give it to us because we badly need it.
9. We can have as Many Online Friends as we possibly can, and we love it
The more internet friends the happier we get. Many wonder why introverts love those chatting apps or some even prefer playing multiplayer games.
This is because we meet online friends.
With online friends, you do not need to always go to a coffee shop to have a talk. We can talk to them in just a few press of a button.
We like talking with online friends and this is an exception of we only need a few friends.
The more online friends, the merrier.
I also don’t know why but that is the case for most of us.
10. Contrary to What Others Think, Introverts can be good at Socializing
I get confused when people think of us an anti-social. That is very far away from reality.
Introverts have something special when it comes to socializing. That is we can easily feel emotions. We know if someone is happy or sad because we are sensitive to it.
Combine that with thinking and gathering our thoughts, you have someone who is good at comforting people.
Did you ever wonder why most people who are good at giving advice, and comforting others are introverts?
Because it is innate to our abilities to understand a person. We are good at empathy even when talking to online friends.
If we can feel emotions on chatting apps, how much more can we feel when body language is involved.
Thus, we are not inherently bad at socializing, we just prefer alone time and talk whenever necessary.
But that does not mean that all introverts are good at socializing, if you think you aren’t you may check out this article where I gave 25 tips to boost confidence and improve social skills: 25 Tips for Improve Social Skills and Confidence
11. Introverts Prefer Hanging Out on Quiet Places
For most introvert, their room is the best place in the world. It is because it is so quiet that we can easily recharge.
Quiet places are so peaceful and we just find happiness in peaceful places.
That is why even when hanging out, we don’t like to go to noisy clubs. We just want to hang out in a bubble tea store or a coffee shop and have deep meaningful talks.
12. Introverts Looks for the Objective in any Social Gathering
If you wonder why introverts hate gatherings, this is because they are always looking for any direct objective or goal in them.
That means that we are looking for something objective to do in any social gathering. If we think that a social gathering is a complete waste of our time, we won’t even bother thinking of going there.
This is the reason why they don’t like parties, baby showers, and meeting all of their relatives at once.
It has no objective at all except if it is a special day for their close friends and relatives.
But to meet people just for the sake of meeting them without objectives, forget about it because we won’t be able to think of a reason to go there.
But it is good news for you, you might give us a reason to go there and we will really come. Just give us a valid reason to go there.
13. Introverts Prefer Quality Time over Frequent Meetings
We do not like going out every time. We prefer to have quality time with our friends.
For us, quality is better than quantity.
This means that even if we don’t talk for years, you’re still considered as a friend. No questions asked.
Also, we don’t like going out a lot. It causes us too much stress. Traffic, noise and all of it.
That is why when meeting, we prefer to do it as rare as possible. But once we talk outside, we will do our best to make it as satisfying as possible.
And for us, satisfying means that our conversation is so deep, that we will always upgrade our friendship every time we talk.