I always enjoy my quiet mornings while sipping a cup of coffee. As an introvert, I always find joy in a peaceful day without any distractions or noisy things. As you can see, being silent is one of the things I enjoy. I don’t like talking to others a lot except to people I’m really close with. However, having my guilty pleasure has some drawbacks and one of the most common drawbacks is that people feel like I’m being rude for being silent.
Being silent is not inherently rude. The reason why people think silence is being rude is that silence is so uncomfortable for some people, while introverts and most quiet people think of silence as something peaceful. The good thing with being silent is it actually shows that you listen.
That’s why I decided to write this article. There is a divide because of different personalities and I want to explain the subject in greater detail to defend my guilty pleasure as an introvert and explain why it’s not really rude. Furthermore, I will also dive deeper into the topic as to why people see being silent as rude. As you see, I really researched the topic to get both sides. My hope for this article is for each one of us to understand one another. I hope you understand why.
Is being silent rude?
Silence is not rude because it is a sign that a person likes to listen and fully understand the situation first before talking. Furthermore, some people really enjoy quiet places and they would do whatever it takes to make their environment peaceful. Thus, they speak less to prevent conflicts.
Most people I look up to are quiet people. They might be talking a lot on TV or on camera, but if you meet them in person, they would always be a better listener.
I understand why they’ve developed this trait since I fully understand not just the joy of having a quiet place, but the social impact it has on other people.
The most common reason why being silent is not rude is that most people who are silent are just listening. They prefer having conversations by letting the other person talk simply because talking less means making fewer mistakes.
One of the most common reasons why people have conflict is misunderstandings. People who are always in a social situation know that the more they listen. The more they would understand the situation, the fewer conflicts they would experience.
I explained in my other article how to be more talkative as an introvert that one of the best ways to be better at socializing is by actually listening. This is the opposite of thinking of what to answer.
In conversations, it is often better to listen to the person to prevent inappropriate comments or responses. Some people who are inherently quiet in social situation knows this technique that being quiet is a sign of power. Power to prevent mistakes and gain respect from others.
In fact, a lot of people would hate meeting someone who is extremely talkative. This is especially true for introverts who prefer having a quiet time.
Furthermore, a basic rule of life is that the more common the thing is, the less valuable it is. People who speak often tend to have less value in their words.
But people respect the words of someone who talk less. This is especially true for people who are in power, or in high positions.
You won’t hear those people talk just for the sake of talking. They always speak for a reason and because what they’ll say is important.
As you go through with life, you would know the importance of peace. You would understand that happiness is not always found in shiny objects but in finding gratitude and contentment.
I am saying this because that’s the same with silence. The more you understand the negative effects of too much noise, the more you will value silence. That’s what I’ve seen in most mature people who have experienced a lot in life.
As you can see, being silent is not inherently bad. It is something most people use to show value to their words and themselves. The more they make themselves rare, the more valuable they get. That’s the same for words.
I have made an article discussing why being silent is not bad. It is an in-depth article like this one which would be a good article to read after this one since they are closely related to one another. Here is the link: Is it bad being too quiet?
Now that I’ve discussed the positive sides of being silent, I said that I would also look at the other side of the coin. The next section is about why it is okay to be a silent person and why there are people who think of silence as rude.
If we want to understand each other, you also need to understand what is the reason they think of being silent as rude.
Why it is okay to be a silent person
It is okay to be a silent person because it is a strong sign that you value your words. Most people who are silent are just trying to make their words as valuable as possible which gets respect. However, there are others who are silent because they’re ashamed of themselves which is a different story.
As I’ve said, silence brings value to your words since it becomes rare. However, there is a negative side to being silent which is being shy or ashamed.
I am somewhat active on self-help forums and I see people who are sharing that they are not talking because they’re really shy or that they don’t value themselves much.
I completely understand since I also felt that before. However, right now, I can talk when necessary and speak up for myself.
Perhaps the thing that helped me deal with it is that I always ask myself what is the worst-case scenario when I speak up? When I ask this, almost 90% of the time, I find that I am being unreasonable, and speaking up would bring more benefits than harm.
So try to do it. If you’re having trouble speaking up, ask yourself what is the worst-case scenario. If it is something you can live with, then try to speak up. I promise that a lot of weight you carry all the time would be lifted once you practice this habit.
On the side of the people that say that being silent is rude, I have found that the reason for this is that most people find silence as uncomfortable.
Some people find silence or quiet time to be uncomfortable. That’s why a lot of people would browse social media once they get a slight feeling of boredom. These people are the ones who usually see being silent as rude.
The reason why they think people who are silent are rude is that they are just uncomfortable with silence. It is not their fault, but it is in their personality.
If you’re one of these people, then I hope you understand now why, and why you should also understand the people who are inherently quiet. They don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable at all.
Another reason is that a person might be really expecting a reply, and not replying is a sign that you didn’t respond to their expectations which makes them feel you’re rude.
When someone asks you and you instead turned your back and walked away, even I would consider that as rude. If this happens, try to be gentle with the person and answer them. If you don’t really have any answers, it is very easy to tell them that you don’t know how to answer and apologize.
That’s way better than not talking at all.
The reason why people find this rude is that people don’t like guessing. Being uncertain is very uncomfortable for most people and by not answering, you leave them no choice but to guess your response which is uncomfortable.
Maybe, you think that you’re being generous by not telling “no” to a person. But the truth is that you are making them uncomfortable because you’re making them guess and most likely, their brain is telling them what if their guess is wrong.
This lingers in a person’s mind all the time which is very uncomfortable.
That’s why I believe in harmonious relationships with each other. If we just understand each other, misunderstandings such as this can be prevented. I hope you get my point.
“Only the things I love.“
ongjason.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on the site, I earn an affiliate commission.
If you’re following me, you’ll know that I believe it is essential to have some tools, whether it’s for personal development or lifestyle in general.
So, here are the things I love.
If you want to learn things for free, I recommend watching my YouTube Channel. Click the Button Below to go straight into my Channel. 🙂
Okay, let me first explain my Channel.
I believe that I really can’t explain everything too well on my blog. That’s why I created a YouTube Channel so I can easily explain a lot of things. Plus, I believe that Video Sharing is the future.
The next thing is books. Books are, for me, one of the cheapest ways to get invaluable information. We can learn personal development, finance, career, relationships, and many more from books.
Here, I will be listing my favorite books in different categories.
- For Beginners – 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey – Personal development has a lot of concepts and ideas to learn. Thus it can be really hard for beginners to know where to start. Thus, I recommend this book since all the basic concepts of personal development are here(except finance, check what I recommended for that)
- Productivity – The One Thing by Gary Keller – This book teaches us the power of focusing on one thing which is the ultimate source of productivity. The concepts taught are what I am using to constantly publish YouTube videos while maintaining this website.
- Busy? – Make Time by Jack Knapp – This book teaches us how to make time for the things we love. The concept is really simple but I think that makes it a book worth reading.
- Health – Lifespan by Dr.Sinclair – This Book teaches about the latest scientific research on lifespan. In his book, he has shared numerous things he is doing to slow down his aging process. This can be as easy as eating less which he recommends.
- Finance – The Richest Man in Babylon by George Clason – Perhaps one of the first books I’ve read about Finance, this book for me is the best if we are talking about learning basic finance such as basic saving and investing. The concepts are very simple but effective.
Take this advice as a grain of salt.
I don’t recommend buying Audiobooks one by one. I mean, audiobooks can be quickly finished by listening while working out or doing some mindless tasks.
So here is to save you some money. Just go for a monthly subscription to Audible. I believe that you will save a lot of money with that plus, they usually give freebies to anyone starting.
My Audiobook Recommendation will always be the same as my book recommendations, but I personally like The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins. I like how she is so casual while reading her book.