The Four Agreements Book Summary and Review
What are the Four Agreements
The Four agreements are your key to finding our who you are, by following them to the bone, you will know what are the specific agreements in your life. The four agreements are as follows:
- Be Impeccable with your Words
- Do not Take Things Personally
- Do not Expect From Others
- Always do your Best
By Using the four agreements, it will change your life by finding out what are your goals, dreams, personality that will lead to a more meaningful and happy life.
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What are the Four Agreements of Life
We are afraid to live. A hard concept to take in, that we resist to be alive. Death is not the biggest fear we have because the truth is, we are afraid to live. We are afraid to be ourselves. We have learned to live our lives trying to satisfy what other people wants us to be. Where did it started? Ever since we are a child, we are taught. Good behavior, reward. Bad behavior, punishment. We are taught that these are the things you need to do in life. Those things taught to us are what we are today. Even if you tell that you are now an adult and have a life on your own, the ideals of other people are still with us. We punish ourselves for not agreeing with them.
In order to be happy and be satisfied in life, we need to know who you are. To recover what we really are, You need to know yourself. Something that the world has taken from us. Do you really know what you like? what you dislike? what are your dreams? what are your goals? Are you sure it is your dream? Why do you think most of us are unhappy even if they achieved what people call success? Why? Maybe because they did not achieved the real success they really want.
So how do we find out who we really are. This book, “The Four Agreements” lay the foundation in finding who we are. It is based on the ancient Toltec wisdom to free us from limiting our beliefs in ourselves. These four agreements will bring you what you are looking for. The personality you’ve been robbed of since before. It is something we need to take on seriously to be able to finally find ourselves.
First things first, what are agreements? When you were a child, you were taught that this thing is good, this thing is bad. If you are doing good, you will be rewarded maybe an ice-cream sundae. If you did wrong, you might be scolded. Over time, it will be in our brain what are the do’s and don’ts of life. Those are the agreements. However, some agreements there are not your agreement. Maybe it’s your friend’s, your parent’s. your guardian’s in short, other people’s agreements. And we don’t really know which is which. That’s why some people who are successful tend to still be sad. Because the thing they thought they want is not what they want. So how do we start finding our purpose, our own agreements, the agreements burried within us.
Think of a Building, the building is your agreements. In order for the agreements to be built, you need to lay the foundations. Think of the four agreements as the foundation of that building. Once you built this four agreements, slowly, you will find out who you are. That’s the promise of the book. Slowly, after building them, the hidden agreements within you will come out naturally. That’s why the Four agreements are important. So let’s start discussing all of them.
Agreement #1: Be Impeccable With Your Word
First of all, what is impeccable. According to Meriam Webster, Impeccable means not capable of sin. What does this mean? Sin from who? Let’s start from you. Imagine this. You fed up with your health problems. So one day you told yourself. Starting tomorrow, I will start exercising and fix my diet. And then the next day came, you don’t feel like it so you postponed it. Wait? Did you just lied to yourself. You said you’ll do it tomorrow and you didn’t do it. That’s how you fail to be impeccable with your word. Words are powerful. It can destroy a human being. Have you really thought it can’t also destroy your own self? Once you say things, be responsible for it. Make sure you are doing it. If you don’t feel like it such as the example above, I recommend you watch my book review for the book 5 second rule. I will put a link in the description box.
Being Impeccable with your word does not only mean about yourself. It is also about others. When you tell your friend you’ll be there are 8, be there at 8. When you don’t want to go to a friend’s party, then tell it directly. Don’t lie to yourself. It seems very simple but continuously lie to yourself and you’ll lose your respect for your own being. Speak words in truth and love. Do not ever gossip. Gossip is a strict NO when it comes to this rule. Why? Because engaging in gossip destroys your thinking process.
Imagine you are in a class, and your new professor came. Suddenly your seatmate talked to you how unreasonable your new professor is. Now, you have a bad impression on the professor. But did you really checked it out? Or have you already clouded your brain. Maybe your seatmate failed the first time with that professor that’s why he’s angry with him. And you don’t know that. Gossip is a poison to your brain. It shuts it down to think. Make sure to research on your own before believing in things.
Agreement# 2: Don’t Take Things Personally
Your view of the world will never be the same with the view of others. You had a different past, Different relationships, Different accomplishments, Different failures in life. That’s why they won’t see the world the way you see it. That will never be the case. So think of it this way. What they think is not what you think. That’s why you should never take things personally. That only spells disaster. Be immune to what others think of you, and you’ll be free from needless suffering.
To make you understand it better, here is an example if the person is in a good mood, he will way how beautiful, handsome, smart you are. Why? Because they are in the good mood. Now let’s see it in reverse. If the person is in a bad mood and they talked to you, they will usually find you annoying. That’s because that’s how they think of the world right now. You might think that people are reasonable but no. People are creatures of emotion. Our response is dependent on our emotion. So don’t let other emotions pollute your mind. That’s why you should always not take things people say or do personally.
Agreement# 3: Don’t Make Assumptions
We all have our own view on life. What’s obvious to you might not be obvious to others. Even with people close to you. How much more on others. Always find the courage to ask questions and be clear to other people on what you expect or want. That way, you won’t be on needless suffering such as asking yourself why other people are not doing the things you want. Communicate clearly to others to avoid needless drama, conflict, misunderstandings and sadness.
An example of this is in business, there are moments where because you are close to your business partners, you expect them to do what you want. The truth is that is not the case. If you want to check the finances of your company, ask directly. If you want them to be more frugal on the budget, tell them. If you have a contractor, tell what you expect from them. That way, nobody will guess. People don’t know what you think. It might be hard to tell the truth in person but it is harder to just be quiet and thinking why your partners don’t work the way you want to.
Same with relationships, don’t assume that your partner knows all about you. Tell it to them directly. And if they really love you, they will appreciate the honesty. Because people know, that honesty will nurture both of you into a deeper and more meaningful relationship.
Agreement# 4: Always Do Your Best
This is the agreement that struck me the most because it is what I am experiencing recently. Your best is not constant. What I mean by this is that your best is different if you are sick, or you are healthy. If you got a full night of sleep, and you don’t have enough sleep. if you are in the mood, and if you are not. I always stumble upon not wanting to make videos whenever I’m on a bad day but this alone changed it. It made me realize that as long as I did my best, the most important thing is I did the action.
The fourth agreement helps you apply the first 3 agreements. Why? Because we’re human. We there will be bad days. There will be time where we slip up. We forget to be impeccable with our word. We fail to not take things personally. We expected something from others. We make mistakes. But it is alright. If we did mistake, okay. Noted and move on. Forgive yourself. Continue applying all the agreements in your life. This is a long journey to finally know yourself. Remember that the difference between the successful ones and the unsuccessful ones is that the successful ones always get up whenever they fall. So always get back and do not punish yourself from slipping up. Always do your best and see the results it has on your life. Those are the Four Agreements, A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. As always, see you in the next video.