A few years back, I can really say that I am at the lowest point in my life. That’s why those times are also the times where my self-confidence is at its lowest. As I learned more about myself by reflection, I began to work on myself, and right now, I can now say that I am a lot better than before and still building my confidence. Through time, I have experienced a change in my body language as I projected more confidence. Thus, to help more people, I decided to write this in order for others to see what confident body language is and what it looks like.
Confident body language means maintaining an assertive posture which means keeping the shoulders back. In confidence, the most important thing is to stand straight. Standing straight is important as it projects confidence by planting both feet firmly in the ground thus evenly distributing the weight.
In this blog post, I am going to define what confident body language is. I will give you a clear definition and I will also give some tips in order to show confidence. Furthermore, since we are talking about body language, I’ve decided to give an illustrative guide since it can be hard explaining these in just words. So, check the pictures and the arrows since they’re important. Let’s start.
What is confident body language?
A confident body language is standing straight, keeping the legs aligned with the shoulders, keeping the shoulders back, and grounding the feet a little bit more outward than the shoulders. Lastly, It is important to make eye contact and not looking down or away to indicate confidence.
To easily explain confident body language, it is important to note that it is more about standing straight.
With the advent of phones and computers, I noticed that more and more people are starting to stand slouched.
This is bad since it doesn’t really indicate or project confidence.
So, a straight back is one of the key fundamentals of confident body language.
That’s why a lot would tell you about standing straight. Not only is it good for your back, but it is also good to project charisma and confidence.
To do this, you have to take note of your shoulders. Make sure to try to put it back.
Do not slouch it forward but try to put it backward.
Don’t worry since I have a lot of photo guides below for you to see what I mean by standing straight.
Furthermore, standing straight means that your legs and feet are well-grounded. This means that your legs are on the shoulder width level.
This means that your shoulders and legs are vertically aligned. Furthermore, your legs are slightly outward.
To help you understand what I mean, check the photo below.
Lastly, showing confidence is about showing it to other people. That’s why eye contact is extremely necessary.
In doing eye contact, make sure that you are only doing it for 4-5 seconds then start to look away. Prolonging eye contact might make the other person uncomfortable.
How do you show confidence?
To show confidence, you need to make sure that you are standing firm and straight. This can be done by relaxing and putting your shoulders backward. Furthermore, try not to do any mannerisms such as holding the tips of your fingers and repeatedly tapping the floor with your foot.
Defining a confident body language is not enough. Thus, I decided to show you one by one what are the things to look out for if you want to show confidence.
Thus, in this part, I have 17 things that you can do right now in order to show confidence.
Like the other parts of this blog post, I made sure to put a lot of examples so you will get out of this post feeling like you’ve had a full course on body language.
1. Enlarge Your Steps to Show Dominance
It is important to slow down if you want to look confident. One of the ways to look confident is to enlarge your steps.
By enlarging your steps, you will be able to walk more even if you don’t walk fast.
Walking very fast in the sense like your legs keep moving is a sign of nervousness. Thus, it is important to try walking slowly if you want to look confident.
Furthermore, some people say that enlarging your steps is a sign of confidence as it shows that you are willing to take up a lot of space.
This is a sign of dominance.
Now, if you look at the picture, you can see that the lady is taking huge steps while maintaining her posture. Remember that posture is extremely important if you want to show confidence.
Lastly, don’t take this to the extreme.
It is good that you enlarge your step to slow your movement while maintaining the pace of your walking.
But enlarging your steps too much would look like you are skipping steps that look very fake.
Remember to enlarge your step but always make it look natural.
2. Learn How to Properly Shake Hands
One of the first impressions people look for when meeting someone for the first time is their handshake.
In fact, a person who is good at handshakes is often thought of as more confident and trustworthy.
Thus, it is important to learn how to properly shake another person’s hands.
When shaking hands, make sure to first wipe your hands before meeting somebody.
This is especially true if you have a sweaty palm. A sweaty palm is not only weird but also would imply that you are nervous.
That’s how society works and we can’t do anything about that.
That’s why try wiping your hands before a meet-up. It can be done with a simple piece of cloth or by handwashing.
Furthermore, try to fully grasp the hand of the person. Make sure that you grasp the hand to the point where you are implying that they are in good hands.
Lastly, when shaking, make sure to be slow.
Do not shake your hands too fast as it looks like you are in a hurry or something. It also shows nervousness.
3. Align Your Feet a Little Bit More Than Shoulder Level
When trying to show confidence, it is important to be grounded while distributing your weight to each of your feet evenly.
This can easily be done with my picture above with a line. If you notice the line, the legs are on the shoulder level while the feet are a just little more than the shoulders.
If you are wondering how it looks, this would look like it can be hard for you to slip.
Furthermore, one misconception is that confidence can be seen with wearing expensive clothing like suits or dresses.
Take note that confidence should be at the personal level and as you can see in the example, even by wearing slippers with a pair of jeans, you can still show confidence.
4. Stand Straight
This is one of the key fundamentals of confidence.
Remember to always stand straight with your shoulders at your back.
Do not slouch or try not to.
I find that exercising my back makes my posture better so you can also try that.
Also, when on a computer, remember not to slouch.
You can get a stand to make your computer screen at eye level so you do not need to slouch.
Just take note that in standing straight, your head should be up, shoulders at the back, and straighten the spine.
Also, do not overdo it. Just be natural.
5. Daily Affirmation
If you want to improve your confidence fast, you can try doing daily affirmations.
The good thing about doing affirmations and increasing your confidence on a deep level is that you do not need to take notes like what I’ve been showing you in this article.
If you’re really confident, you show confidence even without any pointers.
However, the thing about affirmations is that there are times where they don’t provide any sustainability.
This means that there are times where the confidence you get from daily affirmations can easily be broken down by a simple mean comment.
By that, this can only be done if you need a boost in confidence. Affirmations should not be the final solution to confidence.
Remember that skill and personality are the core foundations of confidence and not affirmations.
6. Put Your Shoulders Back
In keeping your posture straight, it is important to keep your back straight.
Like most of the examples given, a straight back is often the most important thing to start doing in order to look confident.
And to do that, make sure to put your shoulders back.
But do not overdo it.
Just be natural.
7. Keep Your Chin Up
This is another thing to take note if you want to stand straight.
Putting your shoulders back would straighten your body but the head is also important.
In order to do that, keep the chin up.
But as with the shoulders, do not overdo it because still being natural is key.
8. Align Your Legs To Shoulder Level
I know you’ve read this a lot of times but proper alignment is important. This is a core fundamental is standing straight.
If you check the photo guide, you can see the line I’ve made.
The legs should be inline or the same level as your shoulders.
Putting your legs smaller than the width of your shoulders would make you look weak since it might make you look like a stick.
However, spreading your legs would also look quite weird as it doesn’t look natural.
With confidence, it is important to show dominance while being natural. That’s the key.
9. Smile and Relax Your Face
What if you show complete body language if your face shows nervousness?
Looking confident means that a person can also see it in your face.
The simplest way to do this is to smile.
However, remember not to fake any smile.
The simple pointer in smiling genuinely is to smile with your eyes.
See the photo above.
In the photo, she is smiling and at the same time, her eyes are also squinting a little bit. That is how you should smile.
The eye should also be smiling indirectly which shows that you’re genuine. It’s something small but makes a big difference.
Furthermore, relax and try not to look nervous. That means wiping down sweat and relaxing the facial muscles.
10. Watch Confident People
Of course, the best way to learn how to be confident is to watch confident people.
Check how they act. Check how they show emotions. Check their body language.
Try to surround yourself with this kind of person and you will learn how to be confident.
Learning from this post is enough to make you confident but in order to take the next level, you need to have a living example of someone who is confident.
Try mimicking their movements.
However, take note that you shouldn’t copy all their movements or it will look weird. Put your own twist.
Slowly, you would build your own confident body language and that’s your goal.
11. Relax Your Shoulders
I always say put your shoulders back but do not overdo it.
It is also important to show that you are relaxed.
This can be done by making your movements natural and relaxing your shoulders.
Stiff shoulders are a sign of nervousness which we do not want. Thus, you need to remember to always relax your shoulders.
12. Making Eye Contact
Have you seen a confident person talking to somebody while their eyes are away?
Of course not.
A confident person knows that they need to show the one they’re talking with that they are in good hands.
To build that trust, they have to know how to do eye contact.
Make the person at ease with your eye contact. Imply that they are safe with you.
A good tip here is to also make your eyes smile like the tip I gave earlier. This lightens the mood.
However, as always, do not overdo this.
Your eye contact should be 5 seconds max. Then look away for a while and look back.
Maintaining eye contact for a very long time just feels awkward.
As always, be natural.
13. Point Your Body Towards the Person
This is the same as making eye contact.
When talking to someone, you need to show that you are talking to them directly.
What I mean by this is that they should know that you are focusing on your conversations.
There are two simple body language to achieve that.
- Maintain Eye Contact
- Point your body towards the person
Pointing your body towards the other person shows that you are interested in the conversation and at the same time, showing that you are all ears.
This makes the person at ease with you making you look for confident.
14. Try To Slow Down
Constantly being in a hurry is a sign of being not confident.
This can be seen not only in how a person walks, but also how a person talks.
Talking slowly makes your words more meaningful since it would look like you are trying to impart a message.
Furthermore, it shows that you are comfortable with the conversation.
15. Always Check Your Hand Gestures
Hand gestures such as constantly touching the tip of your fingers is one of the signs of nervousness.
It shows that you are confident enough to speak or to move.
Thus, it is important to make sure that your hands are relaxed and not do anything that show hand gestures that show nervousness.
Examples of hand gestures that doesn’t show confidence include:
- Nail Biting
- Touching the tips of your fingers
- Wringing hands
- Pen popping
- Scratching the head
16. Be Careful of Mannerisms
Not all mannerisms are in the hands.
Some are on the body which is also important.
This can be constantly tapping the floor with your foot, or constantly moving.
Examples of mannerism that doesn’t show confidence include:
- Constant checking of phone
- Deep Breathes in front of another person
- Moving constantly
17. Power Poses
Some people say fake it will you make it.
But I believe in something deeper which is fake it till you become it.
Power poses are a good way to practice confidence and that’s why I made this guide.
A simple power pose is putting your hands up in the mirror. This gives a boost in confidence.
However, as I always say, I am not really a big fan of this since I still believe that genuine confidence is something you get from skills.
But if you need an instant boost in confidence, try these power poses.
You can power pose while sitting down(shown above), and while standing up(shown below).
But, as I always say, genuine or real confidence is the best and by learning how to be genuinely confident, you won’t need these tips anymore.
So in the next section, I will introduce you to how you can actually feel confidence.
How to really show confidence?
To show absolute or real confidence, a person has to build his or her skills with it. That means showing real confidence needs to have a foundation. This makes sure that a person’s confidence can’t be easily be broken by anybody else. As a result, confident body language such as standing straight, smiling, and good eye contact comes automatically.
While I have given these tips, I still believe that real confidence is not about having these pointers.
These tips are good if you want fast results. You can easily copy these moves in order to look confident.
However, because it is easy to attain, this type of confidence can easily be taken away.
For example, if you only fake confidence, a simple comment from others could easily get you off guard leading to instantly losing your confidence.
I hope you get what I mean.
Real confidence is not about memorizing these moves. In fact, I got most of those pointers because I do it myself without any pointers.
Do my tips above if you need to build confidence fast. But if you want it to be sustainable, build your skill and personality.
Once you’ve built your skills, you have a stable foundation for confidence. Thus, if someone tries to break it, they will have a terribly harder time doing so.
For example, you will see some chefs telling that they are working for 15 to 20 years and you can see how proud and confident they are in their skills.
That’s what you need to build. Build confidence with a strong foundation such as skills and personality.
That way, it could be sustainable.
If you want more information on the relationship between skills and confidence, you may check out this blog post: Skills vs Confidence: Which is more important?
For more personal development tips, you may check out this website or my YouTube Channel.
“Only the things I love.“
If you’re following me, you’ll know that I believe it is essential to have some tools, whether it’s for personal development or lifestyle in general.
So, here are the things I love.
If you want to learn things for free, then I recommend you to watch my YouTube Channel. Click the Button Below to go straight into my Channel. 🙂
Ok, let me first explain my Channel.
I believe that I really can’t explain everything too well on my blog. That’s why I created a YouTube Channel so I can easily explain a lot of things. Plus, I believe that Video Sharing is the Future.
The next thing is books. Books are, for me, one of the cheapest ways to get invaluable information. We can learn personal development, finance, career, relationships, and many more from books.
Here, I will be listing my favorite books in different categories. Plus, I will be sharing the book I am currently reading(yes, this changes every time I have finished a book)
- For Beginners – 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey – Personal development has a lot of concepts and ideas to learn. Thus it can be really hard for beginners to know where to start. Thus, I recommend this book since all the basic concepts of personal development are here(except finance, check what I recommended for that)
- Productivity – The One Thing by Gary Keller – This book teaches us the power of focusing on one thing which is the ultimate source of productivity. The concepts taught are what I am using to constantly publish YouTube videos while maintaining this website.
- Busy? – Make Time by Jack Knapp – This book teaches us how to make time for the things we love. The concept is really simple but I think that makes it a book worth reading.
- Health – Lifespan by Dr.Sinclair – This Book teaches about the latest scientific research on lifespan. In his book, he has shared numerous things he is doing to slow down his aging process. This can be as easy as eating less which he recommends.
- Finance – The Richest Man in Babylon by George Clason – Perhaps one of the first books I’ve read about Finance, this book for me is the best if we are talking about learning basic finance such as basic saving and investing. The concepts are very simple but effective.
- What I am currently Reading? – 12 Rules for Life by Jordan B. Peterson
Take this advice as a grain of salt.
I don’t recommend buying Audiobooks one by one. I mean, audiobooks can be quickly finished by listening while working out or doing some mindless tasks.
So here is to save you some money. Just go for a monthly subscription to Audible. I believe that you will save a lot of money with that plus, they usually give freebies to anyone starting.
My Audiobook Recommendation will always be the same as my book recommendations, but I personally like The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins. I like how she is so casual while reading her book.