Stoics: Are they Attractive?

I remember the first time I heard about Stoicism when someone explained Spock from Star Trek. At that time, my impression is the same as other people, where too-logical people are very unattractive. Who would appreciate someone who always acts on logic? However, fast forward a few years, and society changed to like Stoic people. What made this switch? Are Stoics attractive?

Stoics are attractive because they show the logical aspect of a human being, which is what our society sees as ideal. This is because being too emotional is a sign of insecurity. However, it is worth noting that Stoics can also be unattractive because of their lack of the ability to connect with others emotionally.

In this blog post, I will show you why Stoics are now seen as attractive, why they became attractive, and in what instance they can’t be attractive. My goal is to give you the complete picture on both sides to have an in-depth understanding of the topic.

Are Stoics Attractive?

Stoics are attractive because they show the power of not caring for what others think, which is rare nowadays. Because of that, Stoics are seen as confident people, making them attractive. Furthermore, Stoic’s strict adherence to values is seen as very masculine and branded ideal by society.

I’m one of those who have seen the transition of Stoics from Spock to the modern stoics.

Before, most would say that people who were only logical and didn’t show emotion were weird and unattractive.

Fast forward to now, and society thinks that Stoicism is attractive.

However, let me start this by explaining that Stoics are not emotionless.

The truth is, we all feel emotions. We are human beings, after all. What makes Stoics seem emotionless is their focus on the reaction to these emotions.

For example, we feel happy, sad, bored, excited, and many more.

Stoics think that emotions don’t matter since they will always be there. Instead, it is our reaction to these emotions that matter.

Furthermore, it is also not true that stoics don’t care about things around them.

The truth is, what Stoics don’t care about are things outside their control.

As it turns out, what people say or the bad things happening around the globe are things that are also outside their control.

These basic principles make a Stoic. Next, I explained the basic concept of Stoicism to explain why they are seen as attractive by society.

How they react to these emotions makes them attractive. It’s not that they’re entirely logical. On the contrary, their reaction to these emotions makes them look logical.

But ultimately, Stoicism boils down to two things. First, reacting correctly to emotions, and second, not caring about things outside their control.

How did Media made Stoicism Attractive?

One of the main reasons why Stoicism looked attractive is because of the media.

Media made Stoics attractive because they are usually seen as confident people who don’t care for what people say. This means they can do whatever they want or do without caring how others will react. Most protagonists on shows are seen as these types of people, which is significantly associated with Stoicism.

Since a lot of protagonists show this trait, people start to love highly confident people.

Since Stoicism is focused on reacting appropriately to things around them, they can be seen as confident since they are trained not to show insecurity.

If you think about it, most shows nowadays show a Stoic protagonist.

For example, a successful businessman who doesn’t care about everything and gets everything they want. Or a person who drives a sportscar everywhere without caring for what others think of them.

Examples of protagonists on TV series who showed Stoic traits are:

  • Harvey Specter from Suits, an American TV Series
  • Kang Chul from W, a Korean TV Series
  • Xiao Nai from Love O2O, a Chinese TV Series.

I included both Eastern and Western series to show that it is apparent to almost all cultures.

These characters are not described as Stoics, but how they react and their confidence shows Stoic traits.

Because of the effect of these TV series, the love for Stoic traits has been apparent worldwide. Thus, Stoic people are now seen as attractive.

More and more people accept these people who are very logical and show extreme confidence.

Our society has transitioned from thinking being too logical is weird to accepting that Stoic traits are attractive.

However, I will also discuss later what makes Stoics unattractive. It is also apparent in these shows.

For now, let me give some reasons why Stoics are attractive.

Why are Stoics Attractive?

Here are some of the reasons what made Stoic traits attractive.

1. Emotional People Would Usually Want a Stoic as a Partner

Women are very emotional. Thus, they want to find someone who always acts on logic to keep them on track.

That’s why you’ll hear women say that they want someone who can handle them properly.

What do they mean by handle?

It means they want someone to keep their emotions in control.

Since Stoics know how to handle emotions, they appear to be attractive to other people who are sensitive to feelings.

This is also true for very emotional men. They usually find a woman who is independent and strong since these women can generally handle their emotions appropriately.

2. Being Full of Emotion Can Be a Sign of Insecurity

Being full of emotion is a sign of insecurity. Thus, unattractive.

Insecurity is usually seen in people who are very susceptible or can’t handle their emotions.

The truth is, it can be hard to have a relationship with a very insecure person. Thus, people usually look for people who aren’t insecure.

That’s where Stoicism comes to play. Because of the Stoic’s ability to handle emotions, they can be seen as someone confident.

This makes Stoics attractive.

On the other hand, very logical, confident, and independent women are attractive to men who prefer these types of females.

3. Adherence to Values are Attractive

Values are essential to Stoicism, and women like men who live by their words and are virtuous.

Furthermore, Stoics are known to value integrity and discipline intensely.

Thus, it is normal to see Stoics who will do what they say. This trait is also very desirable.

That means if a person says they will meet you at 8 PM, they will be there is 8 PM.

A very disciplined person with integrity is attractive since it shows they are confident and independent thinking.

4. Stoics Appear Confident

Of course, Stoics appear confident as they don’t show emotions.

They appear to be someone who acts based on logic and doesn’t care what others think.

I’ve already discussed this in the previous section. The truth is, Stoics learned how to react only to things that they couldn’t control.

However, in the eyes of others, they appear to be very confident, which makes them attractive.

5. Effect of Media to Societal Thinking

As I’ve discussed earlier, media had a clear role as many TV movies or series protagonists have Stoic traits.

This significantly increased the attractiveness of Stoics.

Why Stoics Can Be Unattractive

Stoics can be unattractive since it can be hard for them to connect on an emotional level. In relationships, emotions are necessary to improve the connection between two individuals. However, this can be hard for Stoics since they’ve learned how to react or suppress emotions.

It is worth noting that not everything about Stoicism is attractive.

I want to include this to give you the whole picture on the topic.

Let me explain this by explaining what women want.

Sometimes, women would want to be needed. However, most Stoics can’t give this to them as they seem emotionless.

For example, Stoics complaining about their day is rare since they know it’s outside their locus of control. So, it can become challenging for a woman to understand their partner since they don’t see any emotion in the person.

Furthermore, it can be tough to have conflicts with a stoic since they answer things logically. This is a problem if the other party handles disputes on the emotional side.

While women want someone to handle them logically, they still want to connect on an emotional level.

This is because females are emotional, and they know that connecting on the emotional level is necessary to deepen their relationship.

Thus, too much of everything is bad. There is always a need for balance. While Stoic looks extremely attractive on TV shows, and movies, it’s not all that is to it.

A very strict person in the following stoicism principles might not look good for a long-term relationship since the other party will find it hard to connect with the person emotionally.

That’s also why in movies, a Stoic protagonist needs some sort of an issue such as their family to show that they have a tendency to have some emotions.

Without that part, the show will be incredibly boring.

If they need to build connections via emotional level, they need to give a reason for a protagonist to respond to an emotional level.

Without emotions, it can be hard to deepen a relationship.

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Recommended Books

The next thing is books. Books are, for me, one of the cheapest ways to get invaluable information. We can learn personal development, finance, career, relationships, and many more from books.

Here, I will be listing my favorite books in different categories.

  1. For Beginners7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey – Personal development has a lot of concepts and ideas to learn. Thus it can be really hard for beginners to know where to start. Thus, I recommend this book since all the basic concepts of personal development are here(except finance, check what I recommended for that)
  2. ProductivityThe One Thing by Gary Keller – This book teaches us the power of focusing on one thing which is the ultimate source of productivity. The concepts taught are what I am using to constantly publish YouTube videos while maintaining this website.
  3. Busy?Make Time by Jack Knapp – This book teaches us how to make time for the things we love. The concept is really simple but I think that makes it a book worth reading.
  4. HealthLifespan by Dr.Sinclair – This Book teaches about the latest scientific research on lifespan. In his book, he has shared numerous things he is doing to slow down his aging process. This can be as easy as eating less which he recommends.
  5. FinanceThe Richest Man in Babylon by George Clason – Perhaps one of the first books I’ve read about Finance, this book for me is the best if we are talking about learning basic finance such as basic saving and investing. The concepts are very simple but effective.


Take this advice as a grain of salt.

I don’t recommend buying Audiobooks one by one. I mean, audiobooks can be quickly finished by listening while working out or doing some mindless tasks.

So here is to save you some money. Just go for a monthly subscription to Audible. I believe that you will save a lot of money with that plus, they usually give freebies to anyone starting.

My Audiobook Recommendation will always be the same as my book recommendations, but I personally like The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins. I like how she is so casual while reading her book.

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