45 Easy Ways To Know if Someone Is Secretly Unhappy | A Complete list

As someone who recently went through a midlife crisis, I know how hard it is hard to spot a secretly unhappy person. But sometimes, we need to find ways to do so. Finding if someone is secretly unhappy with their life can help us deal with our friends or loved ones better. It is a skill that allows us to build more empathy.

To know if someone is secretly unhappy, the easiest way to find out is to look for signs of escapism. Escapism is a person’s susceptibility to escape from real life, such as too much social media, playing games, and more. Also, secretly unhappy people tend to lose interest in things that they were once passionate about.

In this blog post, I have 45 ways to find out if someone is secretly unhappy. Some of them are things I got from experience as someone who talked with unsatisfied people and became greatly dissatisfied with life.

1. They Always Feel Surprised When Someone Compliments Them

People who are currently unsatisfied with their life tend to be surprised when someone compliments them.

The reason is that a lot of unhappy people tend to look down on themselves. This is much like how I felt before when someone compliments me.

It surprises me a lot since I always felt being left behind in life.

That’s why I understand how people feel like they aren’t qualified enough to receive those compliments.

However, this is just a sign. It is by no means a sign that we don’t want compliments.

In all honesty, those compliments gave me an instant morale boost to try again, and I am glad I did.

That’s why I made this video on my YouTube channel to lift people who feel left behind in life.

I make self-improvement videos on YouTube, and I gladly invite you to check my Channel to learn more about personal development. You can find my Channel by clicking here.

2. They Are Always Daydreaming

People who are secretly unsatisfied are prone to daydreaming.

Daydreaming is a sign of escapism.

It is imagining our life if we just worked and achieved our goals. It is a way to escape what our current situation is.

People who daydream aren’t always secretly unhappy, but if you find someone who suddenly changed into this, then it is a sign that they have some things going on in their life.

3. Their Eyes Don’t Coincide With Their Smile

It is easy to know if someone is faking their smile by looking at their eyes.

In fact, through experience, it will be easy to spot a fake smile by checking at the person’s eyes.

People who are dissatisfied with their lives smile even if their eyes tell otherwise.

It takes practice to understand how to spot a genuine smile by looking at a person’s eyes, but once you know how it works, this is an easy way to spot an unhappy person.

4. They Gain Weight Fast

A person who starts gaining a lot of weight quickly can be secretly unhappy.

Being dissatisfied with life causes a person to start stress-eating.

Furthermore, their lifestyle can cause them to eat junk foods instead of eating healthily.

5. They Lose Weight Fast

Someone who lost weight fast is not always on a diet. Some are just unhappy that they start to neglect their body.

This can be seen as someone skipping meals since they just don’t feel like eating, or they aren’t cooking their meals since they just want to sleep.

6. They’re Very Sensitive

A dissatisfied person can be very sensitive to comments, suggestions and can be very emotional since they are going through some hardships.

This can be seen when somebody suddenly overreacts to little comments or having a different view on some suggestions.

Their reaction is usually caused by some burdens they have, causing them to be more emotional.

7. They Always Look Tired

A lot of unhappy people tend to lose their sleep, making them look tired.

Furthermore, since many of them stop eating healthy foods, they tend to have low energy levels.

Thus, it is common to see a once healthy and energetic person become someone who looks extremely tired once going through some hardships.

Furthermore, stress eating, which is common to unhappy people, doesn’t help as it can cause energy dips.

8. They Are Always Hooked-in Their Phone Even With Friends

Checking your phone even on social occasions is becoming normal nowadays, but it can be a form of escapism.

Checking phones can be a sign that you don’t want any conversations. It can be a sign of escaping from talking about your life in general.

Since most unhappy people have little to no good things to say about their lives, it is their way of escaping any conversation about them.

That way, they can escape from letting others know about their current situation.

9. They Give a Lot of Jokes

Some people mask their unhappiness by trying to light up the mood by giving a lot of jokes.

Since they’re unhappy, they try to escape reality by trying their best to light up the mood.

That’s why you’ll hear things about some people who are always joking secretly having a difficult time.

Making others happy is their way to escape their current situation as it helps them forget their problems for a short while.

10. They Aren’t Reacting to Jokes

On the other hand, very serious people tend to show their unhappiness by not reacting.

This can also be caused by daydreaming, where they are escaping reality by imagining a life different from their current situation.

Furthermore, they can be experiencing a lot of difficulties leading it harder for them to react to jokes.

This is an easy way to know if a person is unhappy since they’re not masking the truth that they are not satisfied with their life.

However, not all people are like this. As I’ve explained earlier, some are prone to making jokes as a way to mask reality.

11. They Avoid Going Out With People

When somebody who likes going out suddenly starts putting on their PJs all day, it can be a sure sign of being unhappy.

When I was having a crisis, I succumbed to playing all day, not minding my friends, and staying home.

The reason for this is losing hope.

Losing hope makes you not care about your goals and dreams. It makes you begin questioning what the purpose of doing anything is.

Thus, we start thinking that everything is useless and energy-consuming and just waste time lying in bed.

12. They Don’t Want To Talk About Themselves

Unhappy people try their best to stay away from talking about their lives.

They just feel that their lives are so dull, and since they might show their unhappiness, they do their best to stay away from talking about themselves.

This is normal, especially with secretly unhappy people.

When someone tries to change the topic once it gets a little close to talking about their current situation, that is a sign of dissatisfaction with life.

13. They Always Seem To Be Happy

Some secretly unhappy people try to cheer themselves up by always being happy.

This can be seen when talking to people.

When they talk to people, they seem to be extremely happy and satisfied. However, after the conversation, they will quickly lose their smile.

This can be caused by masking their situation. They try not to make others worry about them, so they choose to smile.

14. They Don’t React or Slow To React on Joke

Some unhappy people are slow or don’t react to jokes.

The slow or no reaction can be caused by thinking of other things such as their current stressful situation.

Furthermore, stress can cause someone to feel blank because of overthinking.

15. They Are a Fan of Escapism

Secretly unhappy people are a fan of escapism. They try to mask reality on things that can make them forget their problems for a while.

That’s why you can see them always sleeping even in the daytime, using social media too much, playing too much, daydreaming too much, and more.

This is because people can use these things to divert their attention to something else other than the problems they face.

Not trying to make life better

16. They Don’t Try To Make Their Lives Better

When unhappy people lose their hopes, they start to give up and not make their lives better.

Some people do whatever it takes to rise again on difficulties, but others just give up.

That’s why you’ll see others not caring about their future anymore by not taking care of their health, not learning new things, and not trying to reach their goals.

But I would also like to note that not all people who aren’t trying to improve their lives are secretly unhappy.

Some people are just completely satisfied with their lives and wouldn’t want anything changed.

17. They Don’t Respond to Chats or Messages

When someone starts not caring about things revolving around their surroundings, it can signify that they aren’t happy.

For example, someone highly stressed out wouldn’t want more news that can cause it to be worse.

Thus, they prevent messages or chats to escape what might come next.

However, there are instances where not responding to messages signifies that a person is just doing something.

For example, I put my phone on airplane mode to focus on making this blog post.

It is essential to know the exact reason why a person is not responding to chats or messages.

18. They Just Want To Be Isolated

Unhappy people like to be isolated and stay from crowds or conversations.

Being isolated is a common way to escape from the environment.

In some instances, stress can be from the environment, such as their work, family, relationships, and many more.

Thus, being isolated helps unhappy people stop this stress from coming.

Furthermore, being isolated is also a sign of giving up.

This might come from some trauma about their mistakes, and they don’t want to deal with it for some time.

19. Their Places Is a Mess

Unhappy people tend to have a messy room, apartment, or car.

Since they start not to care about themselves, it can be reflected in their surroundings.

That’s why it is easy to see isolated people with rooms that are incredibly messy with things thrown all over the place.

This is especially true when you see a person who is very keen to make things clean start to make their place a mess.

The sudden change can be caused by dissatisfaction with life.

20. They Try To Stay Away From Eye Contact

Trying to stay away from eye contact is a sign that a person is hiding something.

This is something unconscious and an excellent way to know if someone is unhappy.

When their eyes stay away from eye contact when talking about their current situation, it can signify that something is just wrong.

Many people try to hide their difficulties since they don’t want to appear weak, so you can try to find out if someone is hiding something.

21. They’re Awfully Quiet

When a cheerful and talkative person suddenly becomes quiet, there might be something that is causing that.

It can be something big enough that caused them to bother too much.

Because of overthinking, they might become extremely quiet.

You can see this when they suddenly have no opinions, even on things they’re interested in.

22. They Try To Fake Smile in Front of People

Unhappy people try to hide their current situation by smiling.

However, as I said earlier, you can tell this in their eyes.

Some are even just trying to be nice, but they’re usually hiding something.

That’s why after the conversation, they can suddenly lose their smile since it is hard to smile, especially when in a difficult situation.

23. They Always Sleep

As a way to escape reality, some unhappy people tend to just stay in bed.

Staying in bed lets them slow things down because one of the usual causes of unhappiness is the fast-paced environment where a person is having trouble catching up.

24. They Don’t Care How They Look

Unhappy people can start not caring about themselves because of the lost hope.

When that happens, they try to neglect their body.

That’s why people who neglect their body’s cleanliness can be caused unhappiness.

25. They Are Becoming Less Logical

People experiencing hard times are usually more emotional.

The reason is that stress can cause a person to be emotional, and when this happens, they become susceptible to impulses.

That’s why it is common to see people do impulse shopping when stress and do things they won’t do if they stay in logic.

26. They Go to Bed While Still in Outside Clothes

Stress drains too much energy, and people under a lot of stress tend to go home without any energy left.

A lack of passion can cause this, or they are just tired of their situation.

This leads some of them to just go to sleep once they get home while still in outside clothes.

The lack of energy and passion is one of the clear signs of an unhappy person.

27. They Waste a Lot of Their Time

Unhappy people tend to waste a lot of their time, especially if it is a way to escape reality.

Furthermore, it can be caused by the lack of hope for the future.

This can be seen by wasting too much time on video games or social media.

28. They Give Short Chats or Messages

A way to escape reality for unhappy people is to stay away from their environment.

They can do this by not checking messages, sleeping, and if they have no choice, they only give short messages.

Because they have many things going on in their lives, they have no time to add another. So, if they reply, they will make it as concise as possible.

29. They Give Very Long Messages and Subtly Explaining their Problem

Not all people who are upset give short messages.

Some are open to it and tries to explain their problems.

This usually happens when a person trusts you. If they suddenly open up their problems, it means that they hope you can help them.

It also happens when someone has too many problems, and they start feeling overwhelmed. They are just looking for people who can share their pain with them.

30. They Don’t Like To Show Their Face

Some people feel shame for having an unsatisfied life. The truth is, most of us have problems.

However, because of shame, some would try to hide their faces by hiding their faces in hoodies.

This is a subtle way of showing that they feel ashamed.

31. They Give Up Easily

As you can see, one of the clear signs of an unhappy person is hope.

When they lose hope, they start to show it via their actions unconsciously.

One of which is that they start giving up easily.

When a person’s self-esteem becomes low, they start to give up fast. This might be caused by a past mistake that had a severe impact on their lives.

32. They Like Cheering Up People Since They Know What It Feels Being Unhappy and Satisfied

Some unhappy people are selfless in nature.

Because of that, some try their best to cheer others simply because they know what it feels like to be unhappy.

This is true for unhappy people or others who were unhappy.

Since they know what it feels like, they can quickly feel unhappy, and they will do their best to cheer others up.

This is much like why I started to write this blog post and make YouTube videos that help raise people’s spirits.

This is a video where I explained how I started to love myself again. I hope it gives hope to people who feel unhappy with life.

33. They Don’t Have Hope

It is usual for unhappy people to lose their hope.

However, that is not always the case.

It is essential to understand that even if all hope is lost, there is a way out.

We just have to work and find this out ourselves.

But for people seeking ways to spot a person dissatisfied with life, you can see it if they start showing signs of hopelessness.

It’s a clear sign of giving up in life.

34. They Are Easily Distracted

Because of finding ways to escape from reality, unhappy people would be more susceptible to distractions.

People constantly seeking ways to think less of their problems will try to find things to erase that feeling of sadness, even for just a while.

35. They Can Easily Feel Overwhelmed

Too much stress can cause a person to be overwhelmed quickly.

That’s why you’ll see someone suddenly become emotional after some stress.

Sometimes, it is not because they have a low-stress tolerance. They might already have a lot of pressure on their plate.

36. They Lose Interest in Their Hobbies

Losing interest in the things they formerly love is a clear sign of dissatisfaction.

Usually, this comes from the environment where people constantly tell negative comments about the person’s hobby.

For example, an aspiring singer doesn’t want to pursue singing as their career anymore because people say they won’t succeed.

The problem here is that these hobbies and dreams will stay with us no matter how we try to suppress them.

That’s why it is normal to see people trying their best to escape reality when they lose hope.

37. They Try To Look Confident

Some people who are very dissatisfied with their life are trying to mask it by projecting confidence.

They are also projecting confidence in hopes that they could fake it till they make it.

These people are trying their best to regain their confidence, so I see no harm in doing so.

38. They Aren’t Confident

While people are trying to be confident again, some just lose their confidence.

Not being confident is a clear sign of someone unhappy with their life.

This is easier to spot than someone faking confidence.

39. They Get Tired Fast

The burden of stress can drain too much energy.

That’s why people who are extremely unhappy with their lives tend to look tired.

Furthermore, stress can cause sleep problems since they will always overthink their situations.

Lastly, since some unhappy people won’t take care of their bodies, they can start to have lower energy levels over time.

40. They Easily Get Jealous

Since unhappy people are dissatisfied with themselves, they can start having some trust issues with others.

When they see someone better than them, they can be on the defensive and get jealous quickly.

Some see someone better than them as a threat since they’re having a crisis within themselves.

This is usually true for people unhappy with their lives because they think they aren’t good enough or what others call impostor syndrome.

41. They Suddenly Become Lazy

When an active person suddenly becomes lazy, it can be a sign of unhappiness.

This is also a sign of a person losing hope.

However, it is essential to understand that this is only true for people who are originally industrious and shouldn’t be confused with inherently lazy people.

42. They Are Always Angry

Because of too much stress, a person can get emotional.

This causes them to be constantly angry.

If you see this, take note that the reason is that the person might have a lot of things going on in their life, which causes too much stress for them to handle.

43. They Always Try To Ask About You and Tries Not To Talk About Their Lives

When a person does their best to evade talking about themselves, it is a sign that they’re hiding something.

Sometimes, a person doesn’t want to bother anybody else. Hence, they start to find ways to prevent talking about their lives as it might cause them to speak up.

44. They Change Their Behaviors Quick

Someone who is in deep stress tends to change their behavior quickly.

The reason is they are often confused about what’s happening in their life.

Their confusion causes them to be unhappy and question a lot of things which leads to stress.

I showed this sign when I was in my crisis, so I completely understand how this feels.

45. They Complain a Lot When Things Don’t Go Their Way

People who are under a lot of stress are looking for stability.

This means they want things to go their way if they can to prevent extra stress.

That’s why many people who are very unhappy with their lives tend to complain a lot when things don’t go their way.

It might be annoying but remember that it can signify that someone is going through some hardships.

Only the things I love.

ongjason.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on the site, I earn an affiliate commission.

If you’re following me, you’ll know that I believe it is essential to have some tools, whether it’s for personal development or lifestyle in general.

So, here are the things I love.


If you want to learn things for free, I recommend watching my YouTube Channel. Click the Button Below to go straight into my Channel. 🙂

Okay, let me first explain my Channel.

I believe that I really can’t explain everything too well on my blog. That’s why I created a YouTube Channel so I can easily explain a lot of things. Plus, I believe that Video Sharing is the future.

Recommended Books

The next thing is books. Books are, for me, one of the cheapest ways to get invaluable information. We can learn personal development, finance, career, relationships, and many more from books.

Here, I will be listing my favorite books in different categories.

  1. For Beginners7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey – Personal development has a lot of concepts and ideas to learn. Thus it can be really hard for beginners to know where to start. Thus, I recommend this book since all the basic concepts of personal development are here(except finance, check what I recommended for that)
  2. ProductivityThe One Thing by Gary Keller – This book teaches us the power of focusing on one thing which is the ultimate source of productivity. The concepts taught are what I am using to constantly publish YouTube videos while maintaining this website.
  3. Busy?Make Time by Jack Knapp – This book teaches us how to make time for the things we love. The concept is really simple but I think that makes it a book worth reading.
  4. HealthLifespan by Dr.Sinclair – This Book teaches about the latest scientific research on lifespan. In his book, he has shared numerous things he is doing to slow down his aging process. This can be as easy as eating less which he recommends.
  5. FinanceThe Richest Man in Babylon by George Clason – Perhaps one of the first books I’ve read about Finance, this book for me is the best if we are talking about learning basic finance such as basic saving and investing. The concepts are very simple but effective.


Take this advice as a grain of salt.

I don’t recommend buying Audiobooks one by one. I mean, audiobooks can be quickly finished by listening while working out or doing some mindless tasks.

So here is to save you some money. Just go for a monthly subscription to Audible. I believe that you will save a lot of money with that plus, they usually give freebies to anyone starting.

My Audiobook Recommendation will always be the same as my book recommendations, but I personally like The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins. I like how she is so casual while reading her book.

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