Confidence: What does it feel like?

Before, I can safely say that I was not confident. I was always bullied in school because I don’t have a strong physique. Furthermore, people are making fun of me since I tried playing basketball with a weak body. Right now, I can say that while I am not fully confident, I got the taste of how it feels like. While I am still working on it, I know what confidence feels since I’ve experienced it countless times. So this article would be about what I’ve learned about what does confidence feels like.

What confidence feels like is when a person started to believe in their ability to do things. It is the ability to believe even if they know and accept their limitations. Thus, it is their ability to not be afraid of being wrong because they accept themselves for who they are.

What separates this article from others is that I’ve experienced both sides of the coin. I know what a person with low self-esteem feels like and I also know what it feels like to be confident. Thus, I am going to show you all the signs of confidence I’ve experienced. Let’s begin.

What does confidence feel like?

What does self-confidence look like? As a person started believing in their abilities and limitations, that’s when they will know what self-confidence looks like. The reason is self-confidence is their belief that they are able to accomplish things. They know that they might not be able to finish something right now, but they can start learning to accomplish life’s challenges.

I am not someone who would tell you that a self-confident person is the one who always stands straight with heads up high.

The truth is while self-confidence can be projected through body language, a lot of people are faking their confidence.

Confidence is not something as easy as doing a self-confidence stance and showing people you are confident.

It is something deeper than that. A person who is truly confident would project those poses without thinking about it.

When I started to feel confident, it was completely different. While I started to show some projections through body language, I am not thinking about it as it would just come naturally.

In my opinion, being genuinely confident is a lot better than faking it. I don’t believe in the fake it till you make it mentality when it comes to confidence.

If you also want to start learning how you can be genuinely confident, then I actually have an article for you to check out. It is how to do self-reflection which is very important if you want to learn more about yourself.

You first need to learn about yourself before learning how to build confidence. The truth is, confidence is just a by-product of how you see yourself. Thus, you first need what specifically makes you not confident.

Is it a past experience? It is your mentality? That can be answered by self-reflection. Thus, here is the article for you to check out: How to develop self-reflection practice

However, I know you are looking for signs of confidence and what it feels like, well, of course, I will share them with you.

1. Confident people believe in their abilities and are very realistic.

One thing to remember if you are looking for signs of confidence or what confidence feels like is this.

Confident people believe in their abilities and are very realistic.

The reason why I am saying about being realistic is that while they believe in themselves, they also know that they have limitations.

However, the difference from fake confidence is that they respect that they have their limitations.

For example, I know that going more than 7 articles and 3 YouTube videos per week will be too much on my schedule. While I can start delegating some tasks, I don’t believe that it’s the time for that.

While I know that I have some limitations as of now, I don’t actually mind it at all.

The only thing I know is that I should always do my best.

You see, some see confident people as someone who will take every challenge in life just because they trust themselves.

That is not confidence, that is just pure arrogance.

You should know your limitation. Knowing your limitation is not a weakness, it is a sign of wisdom.

However, I also believe in my abilities. For example, I know that I can write this article today even if there’s just less time than usual.

I also know what projects can work well with me. I won’t force something only to give mediocre results to others.

While I believe in my limitations, that doesn’t mean that I will only accept things without trying to improve. That’s what we will see in the next section.

2. Confident people believe they can improve.

Another sign of confidence is the belief that even if you currently can’t do something, you know that you can learn and improve.

While I am saying that I accept my limitations, that doesn’t mean that I can’t do it forever.

What I am saying is right now, I can’t do that.

An example of this is when I first started making websites, I have zero knowledge in making one plus, I am not a writer.

I am a Medical Technologist by profession which is different from being a blogger.

However, that didn’t stop me from working on myself. I started learning how to make a blog post, make my website, and so much more.

I still remember that it took me 4 hours just to write an 800-word article which would only take me 30-45 minutes as of now.

As you can see, it is not only our ability to know our limitations, confidence is also our belief that we have the ability to learn and improve.

3. Confident people aren’t afraid of being wrong.

Confidence feels like you aren’t afraid to be wrong because you accept yourself no matter what.

A person who is confident knows that they make mistakes and that is perfectly fine. They would accept criticism if that would make them better.

Being wrong is part of being human, we make mistakes. However, the way of reacting to mistakes is what differentiates someone who is confident and who isn’t.

A confident one would accept the criticism in hopes to get better.

That is especially true in my experience as my first video on YouTube is just ugly. However, I took criticisms to improve myself.

While I am still far away from the videos I want to make, I am going there. Here is my first video for your reference.

If I didn’t make the mistake of making bad videos, if I didn’t make the mistake of having 2 failed websites, I wonder where I will be now.

Would I still be working night shifts in a hospital?

Actually, I have no idea.

What I only know is that making, accepting, and working on my mistakes made me where I want to be right now.

So I suggest you not be afraid of being wrong. Sometimes, mistakes are the ones that teach us a lot about life.

“What I only know is that making, accepting, and working on my mistakes made me where I want to be right now.”

Jason Ong

4. Confident people listen more than they speak.

A sign of confidence that a person listens more than they speak. The reason is that it is normal for people to try talking a lot when they aren’t confident.

As an example, rather than always talking about what they can do, confident people would make their work speak for itself.

I once met somebody like this who doesn’t really talk much but their work speaks for itself.

Even if you tell her that someone actually offered better service at a cheaper price, she would just smile and leave.

The reason is that she already has a lot of loyal clients.

Furthermore, those who speak less are also the ones who look powerful to others.

Confident people don’t need to explain themselves because they already believe or trust their abilities.

Furthermore, when it comes to listening, a confident person knows that listening or being quiet are powerful in a conversation.

It helps you make fewer mistakes and get to the flow of the conversation much faster.

To know more about silence and its benefits to life, you can check out my article. In there, I discussed the benefits you can have when you try to incorporate silence into your life. Here is the link: How does silence improve our daily life?

But here is my point.

Listening is a sign of power and confidence. It is a kind of body language where the other party would feel that you are genuine and serious.

That’s why some people would say that Sigmund Freud is confident because he always listens, and when he listens, the person would feel how genuine he is.

5. Confident people aren’t afraid to ask for help

A big sign of a confident person is that they aren’t afraid to ask for help.

They are not actually afraid to show vulnerabilities because they don’t have to hide anything.

That is the level of confidence that most people actually want.

That’s why I said earlier that a confident person knows their limitations. They know that they can’t do everything themselves.

Confident people are good team players because of this. They can delegate tasks because they believe the people around them.

While they believe in their abilities, they also believe in the ability of others.

Someone who isn’t confident is actually afraid of asking for help.

The reason is that they are afraid of what people would think about them.

That’s what I call fake confidence. They aren’t really confident because they are always conscious about it. They think that showing vulnerabilities or weaknesses is a sign of someone who is no confident.

Which is absolutely wrong.

If confidence is your ability to believe in yourself, you have to believe it all including your weaknesses.

That’s why we still need to ask for some help especially if we’re not fit for the job.

6. Confident people don’t have the need to put others down

People who aren’t really confident in themselves would always be conscious of their position or power.

That’s why they are always on the lookout for somebody who would replace them.

What actually happens is that if they felt some sort of a threat, they would do their best to put them down.

This always happens in job scenarios when someone tried to sabotage another just because they badly want the position.

Confidence on the other hand is different. It has a different feel. When you feel confident, you don’t have to go low like that. You trust your abilities can bring you to the things you want to accomplish.

You do not see reasons to put others down simply because you trust your abilities and aren’t feeling some sort of insecurity.

7. A confident person owns themselves including their mistakes

Probably, the most important feeling of a confident person is they are owning themself including their mistakes.

A person who isn’t confident would always blame things on others such as a person, event, or other things.

However, somebody who is confident knows that mistakes are important and one of the best teachers they can have.

I actually learned this concept from the book “Extreme Ownership” by Jocko WIllink where he taught how important it is to own your life.

Here is a video summary if you’re interested in watching the book summary I’ve made.

But here is the point.

Ownership means responsibility.

You are responsible for your life including your mistakes.

That’s what separates a confident person from someone who isn’t.

Thus, a confident person knows and accepts themselves which includes their flaws and mistakes.

Once you get this feeling, you would surely have a grasp on what confidence actually feels like.

Confidence is the feeling of belief. The belief in your own abilities and your ability to learn and cope with any situation. It is your ability to strive under pressure and to accept mistakes. Lastly, your ability to ask for help and never putting others down just for the sake of having a better life.