Is it rude to tell someone is quiet?

People would often ask me questions especially when they are dealing with introverts. The simple reason is that I am also an introvert. I enjoy being quiet and I hate places that are very noisy. One of the most common questions people ask me is if it is impolite or rude to say someone is quiet.

Generally speaking, it is not rude to say someone is quiet. The thing you need to consider is how you say it. If you say it in a gentle manner and respect, the person would most likely not see it as rude. However, it also depends on the person since there are ones who are more sensitive to others.

This article would talk about this concept. We would look into the topic. You would see what can you do to prevent being rude, and what are the usual causes of thinking that this is rude. We would talk about body language, a little bit of personality, and a recommended article about what introverts want you to know.

This is a picture of an awkward situation that usually happens when you ask someone if he or she is quiet

Is it rude to say someone is quiet?

Saying someone is quiet is not inherently rude. What makes this rude is how the person is saying it, or how the other person reacts to the comment. Usually, being quiet as a comment does not affect people who know they’re really quiet except if they feel that their personality is being questioned.

I am an example of someone who does not get offended when somebody says that I’m too quiet. In fact, I really prefer being quiet rather than talking a lot.

I prefer listening to the one talking and make sure that what I’m saying is always inline in the conversation.

I believe that the way for good communication is for each of us to be a good listener and being quiet does that really well.

I actually discussed that in a separate article where I made a point that being too quiet is not really bad. I pointed out a lot of points were being quiet can excel. Here is the link to the article: Is it bad being too quiet?

Here is actually where the problem usually lies.

There are just sensitive people. That involves introverts, extroverts, and ambiverts. We have different sensitivities to what people comment about us.

And sometimes, there are just things that might seem superficial for some, but somewhat big for others.

One of them is the comment that they’re being quiet. There are just people who are inherently quiet and society has shaped us to think that being quiet is linked to numerous problems especially in education and career.

Of course, I don’t agree with that but if the person is raised in an environment where they generally see being quiet as bad, then commenting that they’re quiet can hit a nerve.

That’s why it usually depends on the person. If the person is really sensitive to the comment and is being raised in an area where people see being quite as bad, they would be offended.

You see, even as an introvert, I am not like that. I said that I prefer being quiet because I can get into the flow of discussion when I am actively listening.

But it depends on the person. The more sensitive they are to the issue, the more likely they can get offended. This is especially true no matter how concerned you really are, or how subtly you tell them that they’re quiet.

Thinking more about the topic, another thing to consider why people consider asking if they’re quiet as rude is that they feel that their personality is being attacked. Thus they get offended.

This is especially true on people who really think that being quiet is their personality and telling them to change themselves is often considered as a trigger for being offended.

If they think that it is their personality to be quiet and you seem to be attacking their personality by forcing them to speak up, the, it might be equal to attacking their personality if you will ask how they feel about it.

Mainstream media always tell us to accept ourselves no matter what so what usually happens is that people get offended when you question their personality even if you’re just concerned.

In the next section, I would share a simple way for you to know if the person is being offended or not. It is really simple to do so keep reading.

But it’s not all negative since there are times that we are just thinking. Most people who are quite like me are thinking. We think a lot.

Some people prefer being quiet instead of talking a lot which is a good thing. They think before they speak.

And for me who is not ashamed of that, I won’t really care if you comment that I’m quiet.

Now that we know if it is rude to tell someone they’re quiet, it is time to go deeper. That is asking why they are being so quiet.

It might be rude to ask why someone is quiet. This is a picture of someone asking a question

Is it rude to ask why someone is quiet?

As a general rule, it is not rude to ask why someone is quiet. There are people who are quiet because they’re having big problems and maybe, you can offer some help. However, there are others who are just shy, and asking them why would make things worse.

Do you know what’s fun with having friends who care about you? They can feel when you’re being too quiet and offer you help.

I like those times where I am sad and someone would just ask me why. They would also let me vent out what I feel and suddenly, I am instantly better.

As you can see, generally speaking, it is not rude to ask why somebody is quiet.

It might be because they are thinking deeply, or in deep trouble. That’s why might ask to comfort or help them.

But the good thing. Something deep for us introverts is that we always ask for some space. We like to make our environment peaceful and we just don’t want any noise.

I know it can be hard for extroverts and ambiverts to befriend an introvert. That’s why I actually have an article discussing how introverts socialize. It is a good article discussing the general information on how introverts talk with other people. It is like a compilation of things we generally like and dislike in conversations. It is so good that it actually went viral on Reddit. Here is the link: How do Introverts Socialize

I would also like to tell you this.

When you see that somebody is quiet, do not tell other people. Just keep things to yourself. Some people get offended since you’re telling something about them without their permission.

It just makes things impolite if you tell others. If you can, just keep it to yourself.

Rather than telling others about them being quiet and formulating theories as to why. Maybe try asking directly the person who is quiet. But ask in a manner where you are genuinely concerned. People can actually feel if you aren’t concerned.

In short, show that you really care for them.

Now that you’ve personally asked, you need to check out if the person if it offends them or not.

Remember that being offended in this question usually stems from their past and their environment. It is not inherently their fault that they’re offended by your question.

If you find that they’re offended, then say sorry and leave.

Here’s a simple test to find out.

Check for the person’s body language. You can actually feel if they are becoming defensive. They would usually look the other way or take a little step back. Sometimes, their body would start not facing you.

These are subtle body language but it rarely lies.

If this happens, this may mean that they are offended by your question. That’s how you’ll know if they find your question to be rude.

If you’re on the other side of the coin, then check out this article as I explained why it is not rude to be quiet. Here is the link: Is it Rude to be Silent?

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Recommended Books

The next thing is books. Books are, for me, one of the cheapest ways to get invaluable information. We can learn personal development, finance, career, relationships, and many more from books.

Here, I will be listing my favorite books in different categories.

  1. For Beginners7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey – Personal development has a lot of concepts and ideas to learn. Thus it can be really hard for beginners to know where to start. Thus, I recommend this book since all the basic concepts of personal development are here(except finance, check what I recommended for that)
  2. ProductivityThe One Thing by Gary Keller – This book teaches us the power of focusing on one thing which is the ultimate source of productivity. The concepts taught are what I am using to constantly publish YouTube videos while maintaining this website.
  3. Busy?Make Time by Jack Knapp – This book teaches us how to make time for the things we love. The concept is really simple but I think that makes it a book worth reading.
  4. HealthLifespan by Dr.Sinclair – This Book teaches about the latest scientific research on lifespan. In his book, he has shared numerous things he is doing to slow down his aging process. This can be as easy as eating less which he recommends.
  5. FinanceThe Richest Man in Babylon by George Clason – Perhaps one of the first books I’ve read about Finance, this book for me is the best if we are talking about learning basic finance such as basic saving and investing. The concepts are very simple but effective.


Take this advice as a grain of salt.

I don’t recommend buying Audiobooks one by one. I mean, audiobooks can be quickly finished by listening while working out or doing some mindless tasks.

So here is to save you some money. Just go for a monthly subscription to Audible. I believe that you will save a lot of money with that plus, they usually give freebies to anyone starting.

My Audiobook Recommendation will always be the same as my book recommendations, but I personally like The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins. I like how she is so casual while reading her book.

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